Rememberance

Tonight the power was out so I decided to put on a play list on my ipod of songs that have had meaning to me since starting this trip. I then walked into our front yard and lay down on the trampoline (yah I dunno the spelling :P) and looked at the stars and the moon. I am one of those people that loves to remember good times, sad times, all kinds of times. As I was sitting there I remembered my tattoo (yes I forget I have one sometimes) and I remembered getting it done. This sent me down a fox hole and I decided to retrace the steps of my trip, where I went, what I did, memorable moments. Etc. when I got to the end of the trip I began to think about what happened after that, seeing my friends for the first time in two months, going to a Muse concert and rocking my head till it hurt, then catching a bus to moxie’s and meeting up with Kaitlynn and Heather with my friends, the excitement of getting to see them. The laughter we had and showing off my tattoo. I remember some people’s exact words.

Then I began to think of this whole year, about how back in November my life changed so much.

See in November 2009 I learned what it was to “have a pair” I asked a girl out for the first time in my life, (I was turned down, if your reading this I’m not upset by it at all ) at the time I was torn by it. It sent me down a crazy road. I remember two days later hearing the verse Matthew 11:28 for the first time (I have heard it before but this was the FIRST time I heard it) and breaking down standing at lake Imadene with one of my closest friends Jonathan.

I put my heart in places it should never have gone, I put my spiritual/physical/mental life in places it should never have even dreamed of going. I was depressed and in such a crazy place. And all I wanted to do was run away. I remember going to my pastor, pastor Andy, and he asked me if I was going to Africa because I was trying to run from my problems? I said no, but in truth I know now I was in one way or another trying to run from my problems. I jumped on a plane and said good bye to life for two months, my plan was to go become a man and come back and get the girl and the life I thought I wanted.

Funny thing about my plan: IT WASN”T GODS PLAN! HAHA

As soon as I arrived in Africa I realized this trip was going to be much different. And God grabbed a hold of me on that trip. He changed my plans for life! I remember sitting in a nice chair over looking one of the beautiful lakes and rivers in Uganda and god talking to me so clearly as I sat there journaling. I remember hearing his voice in everything I saw. Hearing him say he had me exactly where I was meant to be. To know there was no other place and that for at least one moment in my life I was in the PERFECT place at the PERFECT time of my life. man what a feeling! I remember calling my dad at 3 in the morning to say sorry.

I remember saying goodbye to Kristie and Emery. Sitting on the couch in my home here feeling so very alone. I remember dislocating my shoulder playing soccer, drinking water that wasn’t boiled. I remember the first healing I saw.

I remember driving to Entebbe from Mityana and taking a picture out of the window and something I didn’t plan to take was in the picture: a sign that read “Slow Down” and god speaking to me about this sign and my life. I remember Williams broken window shield and god speaking to me through that. I remember traveling all over Europe completely alone, meeting angels here and there, a French guy on a train telling me when my stop was. an Italian customs officer who didn’t arrest me. A French customs officer telling me to remember to pray.

I remember sitting on the train heading to London begging god to not let me get arrested or lose the machete I had. Only to have him say “haven’t I done enough for you? haven’t I proven I will watch after you?” I remember the moment I let go of all the pain I had in my life, the moment I said I was ok.

I remember getting on a plane on my way home and thinking wow. I have been away from normal for more then two months!

After I got home life was different. I was different. I had become a man in many ways, (I’m still becoming a man in many ways) I wasn’t the same. I had many people tell me this. I remember Amber Fee telling me that I was different, more mature. I remember the feeling of culture shock, of feeling so confused and frustrated about life. I remember walking out of a service at Lion of Judah because I couldn’t stand to look at the school I helped build and feeling like I was stuck in a world I didn’t want to be a part of and having a friend right there that understood me.

I remember Trevor and Joel and I going to the break water In a storm and getting soaked! Then going to Boston pizza to meet with Heather, putting salt in all our waters to the point that Heather had the only non salted water! Haha. I remember telling one of my best friends something that to date she is the only one that knows that about me. And the relief and fear I felt in telling her. It makes me laugh to think of when I bought a watermelon took it to Jessica and Graces and asked to cut it there and never telling who it was for. I remember watching falling stars by lakes, going to out door movies, watermelon. I remember the feeling you get when you realize someone likes you and you like them. I remember the crazy fun i had in a cake eating contest with some of the best cake i have eaten. and did i mention watching shooting stars?!

I remember the way i felt (brought to tears) as City youth became one and prayed for me. the feeling i felt of knowing i was being sent off by my family there.

I think that might be enough memories for everyone. I guess what I’m saying is that as this year comes to an end, it’s hard to believe where I have come in the last year and a bit. I can’t believe I have been all over Europe and have stepped foot in three Africa countries, (one of those countries twice) and will hopefully add on a fourth by the end of this trip all in a years worth of time. I can’t believe that even now I can see I have become more of a man! I can get up and preach and it doesn’t bother me. I am learning a new language (slowly) I’m now brothers with an African named Chris, and an African named Joshua.

Man God you are incredible. To find some worth in a man like me. People say they wouldn’t change a thing about the past. Well I can tell you I wouldn’t change one moment, one breathe, or blink of an eye from this past year. I’m so glad I was rejected, because if I wasn’t I wouldn’t be where I’m right now and I wouldn’t be happy like I’m right now.